Then my daughter was born, and my whole life changed. So I stopped going and for 2 years shut God out completely.
So I would read the Bible looking for contradictions, I would listen to sermons only to find the faults in them. I even tried to find ways to prove that there wasn’t a god. I went to church, heard the same sermons I had heard 1000 times, but was still never moved. Then I met my wife, who was waayyyy too good for me, and I started to see Gods love for me, but because I still addicted to drugs I couldn’t accept it, nor did I want to. When that didn’t work, I turned to drugs and by the time I was 14 I had developed a sever drug addiction, and continued it for 10 years. They would say things like, “well maybe if you came to church more, then you haven’t these problems” or “maybe you aren’t cut out to be here”.Needless to say, I hated church.īecause of the bullying, by the time I was in the 8th grade I became very suicidal, and even attempted to take my life. I was constantly bullied by the same people who were given Christian character of the month awards and were considered “lights on campus” and on top of that my pastors constantly put me down and never were up lifting, even when I went and begged for help. I never understood how someone could praise the Lord on Sunday morning, then turn around and beat their children on Monday (all in the name of Jesus).įrom Colorado we moved to California where I was enrolled in a private Christian school where both my parents worked. My dad was a pastor of a small church in Colorado and my mother was extremely abusive to both my brother and I (mostly physically, but also mentally).
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